One year ago...

Today is my friend, Z's death anniversary. He departed 1 year ago. Come to think of it, it's STILL hard to accept that he's no longer in this world.

I remembered in June 2004, we celebrated another friend's 21st birthday. He was there - perfectly healthy - and we chatted quite a bit. Who knows, just barely 2 months later, we learnt that he was diagnosed with leukemia.

He was admitted to the NUH. I only visited him once, after which, he was discharged. His 21st birthday was celebrated at his house, where he invited many friends over. K called me up, asking me to go to Z's house to join in his birthday celebration( He stayed in Sembawang too, his house is just a 15 minute walk from mine), BUT I didn't turn up.

Instead, I showed up at his house with a belated birthday card the following day. He had undergone a few rounds of chemotherapy and I saw some tubes attached to his chest. He said he had to undergo 8 rounds of chemotherapy, but usually patients don't make it beyond the first few rounds.

But yes, he did survive his 8 rounds of chemo! I remembered him telling me that IF he survived till then, he would give me a treat at McDonald's. Also, I vaguely remembered him saying that " Go to Choa Chu Kang to offer incense to me"... It's rather melancholic to hear that...

In the afternoon of 26 August 2005, I received an sms. The content was something like this:

"Z suffered a heart attack and is in critical condition". Another regret - I failed to turn up at the hospital, without realising the seriousness of his condition."

At around 9pm, a friend asked me if I wanted to visit Z at NUH the following day. I agreed and we were discussing where and what time to meet, and what we should buy, etc...

That very same night, at around 11pm, I received an sms from a friend.

" I wanted to tell you guys something, Z has passed away. At 9 plus."

Actually, when I heard my hp beeping, I had a feeling that I might receive such an sms.

Upon knowing his departure, I didn't cry. It was until the following day I attended his wake and saw him lying in the coffin, my tears started to trickle. Automatic and beyond control. I didn't want to cry, because I had already done so prior to attending his wake. The moment I saw his body, I really couldn't believe. This friend of mine, still alive and kicking a few months ago, the one who chatted with me thru MSN, helped me upload my website, was lying motionlessly in the coffin.

I attended Z's cremation the following day. Everyone was upset, especially his father. I felt so sad for him because he loved his son very much. Before the cremation, Z's father placed his beloved guitar on top of the coffin,which was meant to be cremated together with Z. His father wept uncontrollably, haiz, it was such a sad scene. He waved Z goodbye as the coffin was pushed for cremation.

Z, I saw your picture in the Obituaries section in The Straits Times today.

You will always be remembered...


Boon Siew